I’ve got this feeling that I was meant to be something or someone, I don’t mean someone that will change the world or end all the bad things that are happening all around the world, I wish I knew what it was then I could devote all my powers to trying to make sure whatever it is happen. I believe that we don’t have any choice of what happens in our life’s and everything that is happening has already happened or has been chosen to by a higher power, like a computer simulation, but if that is true then there are some sick mother fuckers at the controls, saying that just look and the stuff we do in games and then It all makes since, we are a game character mmo and my creator is a dumb fuck hat (yes, I did say hat).

I always say life is simple and you shouldn’t care about what people say or do, but I’m such a hypocrite, I’m not able to pass on the advice I’ve been given, the advice that was give to me by some of the greatest people on this planet to try and help me with my own issues. I know for a fact it’s hard to be something that you’re not, and it’s even harder to be what you are, the fact that I know how to solve the problems should be a help but my mind is weak, much like the minds of the many others that feel like they have to be special or something. It’s amazing how people mange to be so fake all the time, some of them pull it off very well, but it depends on what they are pretending to be. Take me for example I’m able to pretend I’m OK and normal to pretty much everyone I meet, maybe I come over as a little shy, but I seriously doubt most of them knows or can see thought all the bull shit and lies.

I can honestly say that while writing these blogs the things flying round my head like a cow in a tornado are getting fired out and smashing into the words that are coming to your screen. I can’t say it’s better than the alternative because that would be a lie, much like my intelligence. I have always wondered how other people brains work, do you have more than one thing going on at a time, I have about a million and they are being processed at the same time, probably why I’m so slow, they are all flying round that tornado and it’s getting bigger and bigger until it explodes and I fall to the floor crying like a baby that’s just been kicked in the head by a fat ugly monkey.

Some of my dreams I’ve been having this past couple of weeks are pretty fucked up and I’ve been seeing things in the corner of my eyes that aren’t there when I turn around for example I often see cats in my room walking about and I look round and it’s gone, the fact that my door is closed and there is no way that it could get in means I’m not actually seeing something real and thinking it’s not, I hear things too so maybe I’m going mad but I’m probably fine. I’m remembering more about my dreams which is a little odd because normally I remember it for about a minute unless I write it down.

Thanks for reading... Love, Chris.

Love you too x :)